leaving

I'm experiencing premature homesickness: realizing that I have only one more day with my mom, brother, stepdad, and David, before my sister and I fly to my dad's house.

Physically, I'm pretty much set for Nicaragua. Which is to say that I'm fully vaccinated, health insured, funded, plane ticketed, and my clothes and books and music are packed.

Psychologically I'm a demure mess (I'm not sure if that's the right adjective), which is to say that one minute I'm excited and laughing and the next minute I'm cranky and irritable, the next minute I'm taking deep breaths to keep from freaking out, the next minute I'm feeling beautifully overwhelmed by the support of friends/family, and the steadfast love of God, and the next minute I'm weeping. All of this is without throwing any tantrums or missing any appointments. It's kind of exhausting.

You know what it's like? Finals. You study and stress and work really hard until all you want to do is get it over with. I think that once I'm there, I'll feel better, because instead of wondering and anticipating and worrying, I'll be interacting with an actual environment. I can respond to the surprises instead of imagining what they'll be. It'll be a relief.